How

Albert.

I have so many of your beautiful words…You sent me so many messages expressing your love and intentions. You said that you were mine completely, you asked me to open my arms and heart to you and that in return you would give me all of you. You thanked me for letting you into my life.

Once, early this year, we looked at all the messages we sent to each other over the first two months we were together. You had tears in your eyes as we finished…It was so incredible to experience you. You were so proud of me and I of you, it was an honor to be loved by you so deeply.

I just cannot reconcile this, that you left. You weren’t supposed to go. You called me your woman, your life partner, your love, your life. I can’t bear that this is it. I can’t face tomorrow, next week, the rest of my life…

How do I do this without you?

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2 thoughts on “How

  1. Dear, dear Britt. Know that deep inside you there is a tiny little window of light. You think you can’t see it now as it has almost been extinguished, but it never ever will be gone entirely. It’s a little sliver of Albert staying with you to give you strength; it is fueled by all the love from your family and friends. Imagine, dream, and focus on that glimmer of light and let it slowly spread and envelop you. There is hope, there is future, and you can live again.

  2. Oh Britt…words are not a remedy to what you face and I for one, am not equipped to bestow any wisdom to what you have endured in such a short , but beautiful and full life. Do know that as one of your avid readers I want for you to be complete, whole….the person you have been for so many of us. Naturally, I’d love to do whatever I possibly can to help you along this painful journey…though distance being a physical issue, in my heart I want to be there for you. I will not say that this pain will pass, for I have no idea the measure of it for you and having not lost as you have, I assume nothing. I can only say in earnest that life is to be lived for those of us left behind in these times and to do it in the way our beloved would have done it is the greatest form of remembrance and honor we could ever give them in life. You are a beautiful person Britt…inside and out and have so much left to take in. I pray you find the peace and hope you seek. I wish you so much in love and life…and I wish you more of it!!

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