I will lie

Know that when you ask me how I am, I will lie.

I am not fine. I am nowhere near that.

I don’t need fixing. There is no solution, please don’t offer me any. Things are dark, but actually they need to be dark now.

Please just be present for me. Please speak Albert’s name. Acknowledge that he is missing from our daily life, our parties, our trips, our lives our future…

Grab me and hold me tight enough so for a split second I don’t have to be the only one holding together a million shattered pieces of the whole I used to be.

Say, “I am sorry.”

Say, “I don’t know what to say.”

Say nothing.

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