I have so many of your beautiful words…You sent me so many messages expressing your love and intentions. You said that you were mine completely, you asked me to open my arms and heart to you and that in return you would give me all of you. You thanked me for letting you into my life.

Once, early this year, we looked at all the messages we sent to each other over the first two months we were together. You had tears in your eyes as we finished…It was so incredible to experience you. You were so proud of me and I of you, it was an honor to be loved by you so deeply.

I just cannot reconcile this, that you left. You weren’t supposed to go. You called me your woman, your life partner, your love, your life. I can’t bear that this is it. I can’t face tomorrow, next week, the rest of my life…

How do I do this without you?

Please, not again

How can life, the universe, be so unjust?

I had one of the happiest years of my life. I gave thanks regularly to the universe, god, whatever, for the lessons I went through last year that brought me to the place where I was able to be vulnerable and experience true love and a relationship that challenged me and was so full of happiness every single day. With someone who I admired and who, quite frankly, amazed me with his maturity and ability to love me so deeply and without restraints. I’ve never even heard of anyone experiencing what I experienced with him.

Albert Aran Selvaggio always had the right words to say, was never defensive, showed me I could trust him completely–whom I did trust completely–and who I loved in a way I never thought was possible. I was able to experience a relationship that surprised and delighted me every single day we were together.

My love, my partner, my man cared for and protected me. There was nothing more I could ever want. He told me every day that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. And he was with me for the rest of his life. It was just far too short.